Archive: May 12, 2010
I am sitting in my local cafe right now. Feeling noisy and crazy. Trying to quiet my head and my heart. The buzzing of human voices sits on every fence. Life returning to normal for most, now that the houses have been emptied, the destruction counted, the lives not lost given thanks for. But there are still overturned hearts in every direction. Quietly, down the street, someone is still shoveling water out of his basement, someone is still grieving over the loss they’ve incurred.
I find the quick return to normal life disturbing. Most of the city was in shock for a week. However, it feels as though so many of those people have decided to all-to-quickly return to the grind. I understand why. I am even struggling to let myself have extra room to breathe. And I am trying to figure out this place that the city is in. As though, “Oh my God, the destruction… what happened to our city?” has turned into, “Oh my God, I need to get back to work. I have a tour to book, and a record to finish, and business deals to complete, and product to push, and people to hire, and…” (I am listening to one of those conversations right now) But there seems to be so much injustice in this mentality. What about the people without homes? Why can’t we take time off our jobs to figure out what to do with the thousands of new homeless in the city? What of sitting in ashes on the floor with our friends and grieving with them? I am trying to make sense of all this.
I think I was hoping that Nashville would stop and re-evaluate for a moment. And really I am praying that this WILL happen. I was hoping that the constant ticking of bad art/commerce would turn into a slow quiet meditation on good art and what art is. When the unnecessary linear pounding of the pavement proves to be worthless in the long term – how will you best spend your time? How do you heal in a way that HEALS OTHER PEOPLE? This is the art I am interested in seeing. I fear that instead of slowing down and re-evaluating that the city will self medicate in self-promotion, fruitless and continued self-addiction produced art.
I hope I am not being too harsh. I am merely using my blog to process today because I have got to get it out in a public forum in order to process it through all the way. To have conversations about it. To be heard without being interrupted.
I am facing my own stuff today. Looking at my life. Fighting the temptation to hit the grindstone as a way to control all the uncontrollable things that have happened over the last week and a half. My apartment is in the process of being torn apart and re-built. My personal belongings are scattered all over the city. My clothes are in plastic bags and need to be folded and organized. My dog is even stressed out which furthers my own stress and responsibilities. I am not complaining. I didn’t lose anything of value. It’s just this being uprooted so suddenly which causes me to feel stressed and a little panicked. I miss my quiet back yard and my quiet house.
But I had settled into my life perhaps too easily and too comfortably. Not holding my own self lightly enough. My surroundings with loose fingers.
I was caught off-guard and in a state of trying to get back up . So what of this flood needs to shape this season? How to I move forward in such a way that it brings healing to the lives around me? How do I move into a place where I can do what I believe my voice is meant for?
In all this: I will be debuting a new song tonight @ The Family Wash called Dear Apocalypse. It won’t be perfect but I think it is necessary.
On another note: Next week, May 20th, is my birthday and May 19th will be my birthday show at The Family Wash. I hope you can come out. The flood and being temporarily homeless may be postponing any and all birthday plans so I hope that you can come out if you’re in town.
All that said… I still don’t know what to say.
Here’s the poster for the residency. Thanks to Ricardo Alessio for the design work and Mike Conway for doing the screen printing 🙂 These will be for sale @ The Family Wash for $6.00 if you’re interested. I am unsure of where any of my merch is right now as it has all been suddenly packed by people other than myself and put into dark dungeons around the city. 🙂
Thanks everyone for everything. Special Thanks To : Kelly and David Landry, Audra and Justin Harvey, Mike, Patricia, and Rose Majett, Mike Conway, Megan Morrisson, Amy Hall, Joe Pagetta, Chris Autry, David Michael White, Amy Wright, Troy Daugherty, Lori Joe Bridges, Ben Harms, everyone at the Anchor who helped organize trucks etc. I know I’m forgetting someone and it’s ripping me up… but my brain is not working correctly. I love you all! Thank you so much for your help!