Archive: October 9, 2009
Nashville is wet and rainy tonight and green and homey. The trees are starting to turn, I am pulling out my winter wardrobe and getting ready to pull boxes out of the basement to pack my house up.
I sit in Ugly Mugs (a cafe by my present house) trying to clear my head and wrangle together the mash-up of thoughts and feelings that are bottle-necking. I am on the cusp of a new season. It’s obvious. With changes in every direction. Clear ones: I’m moving, going on another northwest tour, getting ready to start booking shows in North and South Carolina, weekenders all over the south, and getting ready to fill some recording studio time at my friend Lij’s studio and maybe some time at my friend Joel’s studio. Both in East Nashville. I’m trying to get a band together and going to start taking guitar lessons again to broaden my knowledge and creativity in the instrument. Maybe I’ll buy a new electric, a new amp, and some pedals. I’m making new friends, loving my job at The Family Wash, and dusting old ideas off the shelf. I don’t know where any of it goes. I’m just trying to be obedient to what is there.
Those of you who know me well know that I’m not much of an opportunist. I didn’t move to Nashville for music. I’m just trying to be obedient to opportunities that come my way and to things that clearly need to happen. There was a time when I felt it was important to push the envelope as fast as it would go but it burnt me out personally as I had no manager and no way to keep up with everything that was going on. So first things first – I want to record a new full length. I want to make things less complicated. I want more deep community and more deep musical community. AND I DON’T WANT IT FOR PRETEND. (Nashville can be a city filled with opportunists who will use you at any turn. It’s sad actually. One of those things you don’t really have to worry about in a small town scene. And regretfully I’ve had to learn a lot of this the hard way.)
I’m even thinking of selling my van in leu of a smaller, more economic tour vehicle. However, I have deep hesitations as buying that van was one of the last things my father and I did together before he died and it’s paid off. And I want to get out of debt.
So where do we go from here? I’m not sure. A lot of it is forcing itself on me. But what of the situations that need help? I guess I don’t know. Hopefully I will when those opportunities arise. And hopefully I won’t get in the way.