I Am Sleepy. This One Will Be Short.

Archive:  October 21, 2010


This one is going to be short.  A day where I woke up feeling rather nauseated did not seem to have much accomplished in it besides reading.  But I want to say this:  I am thankful my brain works.  I have been in seasons where I have been SO overwhelmed by the circumstances of my life that my brain ceased to make sense of books or correctly conjugate sentences.  It is a very frustrating experience to have once been rather well spoken and then realize that, despite your best efforts, your words (words which you have once cherished) are just not falling into the correct order in your sentences or the wrong words entirely are the ones coming out of your mouth.  I have not FULLY recovered (How frustrating is it that I can write and NOT ONCE have the temptation to say the word “like” between the words but I have an utterly difficult time speaking in this manner?) but I believe that I am in the process of recovery.  And again I have to thank my friends in their deep and wide love for me in aiding me through this process.  I don’t know where I would be if it were not for the ones specifically involved in this blog challenge and a handful of others.

I got great news today that one of my best friends, Whitney Williams, will be visiting me from Los Angeles on the 2nd of November for 4 whole days.  I am grateful for the opportunity to have her near.  I can not wait to hug her and love her and talk with her and do things with her and it’s going to be so so so so so very wonderful.

Whitney and I met shortly after I graduated from high school.  She was a friend of a friend and I have to say, I don’t think we hit it off.  I don’t think she thinks so either.  We actually spent the first day of our meeting arguing over the validity of Jewel’s -the saccharine songwriter turned country singer Jewel- right to be a published poet.  This is where my music snobbery kicks in.  I was INCENSED that there were amazing struggling poets in the world and Jewel had been handed some sort of bastardized book deal.  Whitney rather enjoyed her poetry.  I don’t think we spoke again for quite some time.  (We have had the same argument in recent years over Elliott Smith.  I am in love with him.  She hates him.  I am still in love with him.)

However, only a couple of years later we found ourselves to be quite fond friends.  And I think she sensed that I needed to be close to someone between tours.  She offered her friendship and her food (she is an astounding cook) to me quite generously and we became very close, hanging out at least every Friday I was not on tour, if not more often.  I have learned from Whitney a very important lesson.  I am worth fighting for.

When my father passed away I found myself in an ocean of what seemed like some very desperate issues.  I feared being overtaken by them and  Whitney said to me, “I think it’s time that you started fighting for yourself.  You have to look at these situations and think, ‘Am I willing to fight for what I know is true in this situation?  Or do I want to be tossed around by the sea at random?'”  Because of her the grieving process was not harder than it ended up being and in many ways I remain Named because of that advice.

I love my friends.  🙂