October 22, 2010
So- I’m not going to say much today because relatively speaking, I’m not doing that well. I will only say that something has gone wrong and that I’m pretty upset about the situation. After I process what’s happened and I’m a little farther down the road of resolve on the issue I am sure I’ll refer to it in abstract terms only but for now I will just say this:
I think that this “situation” was in the books. It was planned. It was coming. And the attitude of thankfulness and relishing in my love for the people around me and how deeply I, myself am Loved, was meant to prepare me for what was coming. So that I could make a real and clear-headed decision about all of it.
I will say this too: I was outside drinking coffee and reading when Daisy took off after a squirrel on the fence today. I LOVE IT WHEN SHE DOES THIS. It is soooo funny to me. Often the squirrel will scream and swear at her when the chase is finished and the squirrel sits safely perched, but heart still racing, in a tree. Daisy ran up to me triumphantly after she chased after the squirrel today and as the little tiny nut-bearing animal SCREAMED at Daisy with all kinds of furious mutterings and exasperated scoldings Daisy just tilted her head and perked up her ears and tried to process what was being said. I laughed and looked down at her and said, “See, you don’t really care about how that squirrel feels because you are loved and accepted by ME.” I have to say that when I said that a little light bulb went off in my head.
That’s all. I’m done for the evening 🙂 Night all!